RSS Feed

Category Archives: love things

labyrinth


 

 

Does love have to hurt?

Does one have to go through heart ache?

Is pain the assurance of love?

Does my heart have to bleed?

Does it have to feel like its been ground and matched on like foot bridge?

Are tears the water in which love swims, floats or is it drown?

Where is the running in the meadow or smelling of flowers?

Where is the sharing of an umbrella in the rain with the one you love?

Where is the exchange of sweet whispers and sweet nothings into the middle of the night?

Where is the gazing into the eyes of the one you love?

Where is the silent words spoken with the eyes that only lovers understand?

I wonder if love is a myth, an old wives’ tale

I wonder if there is another dimension to this …. Can it even be classified?

I wonder if I will ever pass this test ‘cos I fail it all too well

Are there lessons to be taken before embarking on the journey called love?

Are there road maps to avoid dead ends?

Can someone, anybody show me the way out?

I’m drowning and falling under. My throat is patched from screaming…

I guess everyone is busy trying to figure out their love path

Will I ever figure mine out?

Or am I destined to be lost, in this labyrinth called love?

 

love and lyrics


Ever had the feeling that the lyrics to a song was talking about you? Like the writer had taken a peek into you life Ąπϑ written words that expressed your feelings, situation, emotions Ąπϑ life? That’s exactly how i felt when i saw Adele perform ‘set fire to the rain’ from her album ’21’ on stage, i had to download the song immediately Ąπϑ it became my song for many weeks. As if fate wanted to have my whole Love life retold to me, it brought my friend T over to my house on sunday and on her phone was the whole ’21’ album.

Listening to the songs that night, memories Ąπϑ feelings i thought i had dealt with perfectly came rushing back. Each song tells a story about my little love life experiences. One would think Adele had a private conversation with me in a world invisible to peering eyes. Now armed with lyrics from ’21’,i’m gonna describe distant lands my heart had been to, some i wanna visit again others I’m not so eager to.

Set fire to the rain:

This song took me back to the first time i allowed my heart to fall. i was young, naïve Ąπϑ very gullible. i had a puppy love before it, but this particular one marked my entrance into the world of sleepless night due to ‘ love’. i had guarded my heart Ąπϑ kept it from been crushed but as soon has i decided to let it fall, bloke 1 came to the rescue. He caught it Ąπϑ said it was safe. My arms were strong, i thought i had a strong grip on his love Ąπϑ could handle myself with him but i found out later that my knees were far too weak, they couldn’t help me stand my ground, as i allowed him walk me over. He played the game well, made me trust him. i believed he was the perfect one. With the two of us, nothing could be better.

Soon i found out he had caught another heart. i didn’t believe it, didn’t want to believe it. i was the leading lady in his life. As the director, he called out ‘scene’ Ąπϑ our movie ended. i had to let it burn but his name kept screaming out through the flames.

Someone like you:

“I heard
That you’re settled down
That you
Found a girl
And you’re
Married now
I heard
That your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things
I didn’t give to you
Old friend
Why are you so shy?
Ain’t like you to hold back
Or hide from the light
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it.
I had hoped you’d see my face and that you’d be reminded
That for me it isn’t over
Never mind
I’ll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don’t forget me, I begged
I remember, you said
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead.
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead,
Yeah”….

Ok, i just had to write some part of the lyrics to this song. *sigh* compared to the scenario painted in this song my Bloke 2 didn’t get married to another chick or is yet to be. That doesn’t stop the hurt right?. You been left for another chick. Most especially if you were looking forward to having a relationship with him. Well we had one – friendship. But i wanted more. i felt i was the right one for him as he was for me. We were good friends, shared the same kinda jokes, watched the same kinda stuff, loved to read… He also went out of his way to do things for me. Asked questions that insinuated he was as interested as i was. i was so sure he would soon make it official. Until one day, he asked how another chick felt about him Ąπϑ told me how he was planning to date her. The love i had for him turned into hate in split seconds, it was as if i had just received an invisible slap. For long i distanced myself from him, didn’t talk to him. It took the grace of God Ąπϑ the little dignity i had left to confront him about my feelings. He said he had wanted to take our friendship a step further but something kept holding him Ąπϑ then he found her. We made our peace Ąπϑ now we are friends again but sometimes, i wonder what did he see in her that i didn’t have?… *shrug*. I concluded it was never meant to be or he would be mine instead.

Take it all:

“Didn’t I give it all?
Tried my best
Gave you everything I had
Everything and no less
Didn’t I do it right
Did I let you down
Maybe you got too used to
By having me around
Still how can you walk away
From all my tears.
It’s gonna be an empty road
Without me right here
But go on and take it
Take it all with you
Don’t look back
At this crumbling fool
Just take it all
With my love
Take it all
With my love
Maybe I should leave
To have you see
Nothing is better than this
And this is everything we need
So is it over?
Is this really you’ve given up so easily?
I thought you loved me more than this
I would change if I must
Slow it down and bring it home
I will adjust.
Oh if only, if only you knew
Everything I do
Is for you”

i usually don’t fall for guys i meet through someone ‘cos i get bored by them with their automated questions. But this one was different. bloke 3 that is. We connected immediately. It surprised me. One would think with my previous experience i would be careful to go in with my head first. Well i thought i did, but eventually i found out it was my heart, Ąπϑ i paid dearly for that. We got close, he said he had never dated a ‘good girl’ before Ąπϑ was afraid he would harm me. i felt pity for him. Naïve girl, decided to show him that it was not hard to date a girl like me. Gave everything i had. Opened myself to him. But then i guess he felt that was too much. He changed towards me Ąπϑ i became a crumbling fool. Thought if i gave him space he would see the loving he would miss. But he cared less. i had to pick the pieces Ąπϑ move one.

One Ąπϑ only:

Bloke 4. Well he would have made 2 if circumstances Ąπϑ things didn’t prevent it. i have known him for years, i liked him Ąπϑ he me. We lost contact a lot but one way or the other we find each other again. The last time we connected we made sure we didn’t lose ourselves. We talked about everything Ąπϑ anything. Became good friends. But we both know we wanted more. He said so, but something was holding him back. His past. The years we spent apart saw him through major heart aches that has made it hard for him to open up freely.

He became a constant thought but i had my doubts. What if he turns out to be like the previous ones? Will i be able to bear the hurt? does he think of me? In the words of adele “Have I been on your mind? You hang on every word I say, lose yourself in time at the mention of my name, will I ever know how it feels to hold you close
And have you tell me which ever road I chose you’ll go?”
But it was still hard for M̶̲̥̅Ƹ to get through to him. i know it is not easy giving up his heart
Nobody’s perfect. So i said words that resembled those of Adele written below to him:

“I dare you to let me be your, your one and only
I promise I’m worth it to hold in your arms
So come on and give me the chance

To prove I’m the one who can
Walk that mile until the end starts
Come and give me the chance
To prove that I’m the one who can
Walk that mile until the end starts.”

The next song shows how it all ended

He won’t go:

I didn’t tell too many people about bloke 4 but the few people that knew about him thought i was wasting my time Ąπϑ emotions on a hard rock Ąπϑ wanted me to move on. They couldn’t see what i saw. Sometimes i felt that way too. We even went our separate ways. But He just wouldn’t go Ąπϑ i realised that i wouldn’t too. So we decided to try make it work. i realised we were both holding on to our past Ąπϑ were blinded by it. So now we are willing to take the risk.

To round off this rather long purging of mine, i leave here with the closing words of this last song

“So I won’t go
He can’t do it on his own
If this ain’t love, then what is?
We’re willing to take the risk

Cause he won’t go
He can’t do it on his own
If this ain’t love, then what is?
We’re willing to take the risk

I won’t go
I can’t do it on my own
If this ain’t love, then what is?
I’m willing to take the risk”