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Category Archives: life

developed world, really?

Disclaimer: you may read this and go “boring” well it’s me freeing my mind.

Most of the time what the media projects is how bad and poor developing world especially Africa is. The way people live on the street, our level of poverty, women and children mortality, morbidity rate our level of corruption, crime, illiteracy level, killing …. the list is endless. In all, Africa is a third world that needs the intervention of international policies. They need to tell us how to run our economy, in what areas we are falling short behind developing.

Today in class as part of an inequality lecture, we were shown a video “USA: Down and out” ( and this video really shows that the so called developing worlds have major issues to deal with and there is no such thing as the perfect economy.This is a recent documentary of how the recession affected the lives of the minority in my own opinion. These minorities were middle class people who had jobs, houses and a safety net. After the recession, salaries where cut, people had to depend on charity organizations for food, people lost their homes because of failure in paying mortgages. these are professionals, Ph.D holders, war veterans all forced to live one day at a time.

One part that touched me was a little girl who said she couldn’t explain to her friends in school why the school bus picks her up from a shelter, she just tells them she doesn’t want to talk about it. another was a man who said the greatest part of loosing his home was the fact he had to stand in line to get the basic amenities of life, life bathing, eating.

The fact is, these developed worlds are heavily based on credit system, you need a house, get a loan, a car get a loan, health have an HMO cover and when wall street crashed, guess who got hit, the minorities that depended on these loans. Obviously the investors and the wealthy would want their money intact to continue the life they live so every one who got these loans had to pay up or get booted out. well we know how that ended.

What’s the governments take? if you earn below 800 dollars they can help with feeding but sorry no housing, if you earn above 900 dollars then they can give you small help on housing and debt management. Everything is politics, keep the rich people and investment houses happy. Now my analyzes are not accurate i am basing my thoughts on what i saw. But seriously i felt we have hope in Africa.

Yea yea we have corruption i know, and our poverty rate is high, but for once i was happy that the media would show the bad side of a major world power, show that not all grasses are green on the other side. For once Africa is not the bullied child. It goes to show that the government of these developed worlds still have a lot of loop ends and are not so much of the ideal economy.

As i see it, the citizens of these country although they feel they have freedom to do whatever they want, they are not so free. Their lives are ruled by bills and taxes and as much as these credit systems seem so enticing, it is a major stress developer.

A cascading effect generates from recession, no money, loss of house, can’t feed, loss of self esteem and security, families are divided because children are sent to relatives, poor nutrition due to consistent dependence on processed food or inability to get food, emotional instability, people living on the street are targeted has criminals and arrested.

I love these countries, yea, and i feel African nations can learn from some of their policies, but these policies are flawed too.


Never Alone….

Last night, I went to bed late feeling sad, confused and alone. I have two write ups to submit in school and i am as confused as a a young maiden with a lot of cute suitable suitors. I think i know what i wanna write about, in fact i have some articles i wanna review, but i just don’t know why i am so confused. is it the thought of failing those who belief in me? the face of my mum kept coming up in my mind, i cannot let her down she has sacrificed so much. *sigh* i could feel the pressure mounting up. I have done so well contributing in class so far, i know the fundamentals, then what is it? why do i feel so lost and empty? why do i feel so alone and backwards?

I remember my days as an undergraduate and how hard i tried. I read, analyzed, linked pieces together, wrote essays i think should get me excellent marks, but at the end i get marks far below my expectations. I get so mad, angry, weak. I know i am smart brilliant, so what is it? why couldn’t i breakthrough? have i been jinxed? It was so frustrating!

Then it hits me. I have been depending on me. Believing in my own strength and capability. I have totally ignored the one who has given me the wisdom, and ability to do all things. I have sidelined the Holy spirit, made Him nothing more than a back up. silly child me! How could i leave the one that could make my learning experience like a piece of cake and slave it out on my own with my short-sighted ego and understanding. I repented and the Holy spirit helped me.

I have been desperate for the past six months, seeking and praying to God for a break. and when it came, i have unconsciously slipped back to old familiar territories. In my mind, i think i am committing my ways to Him, but it is nothing more than words i whisper then i try to analyze thing on my own. Agitation has slowly crept in, fear of failure mocks me, my mind is heavily burdened. I feel alone, with all the lead in the world enough to drown me.

Then the words of a song ‘enough’ by Jeremy Camp playing on my system reminds me of what/who should be my satisfaction. Jesus. He should be more than enough for me. I listened to more songs, prayed and slept off.

This morning, i woke up to a message from a friend. she said she remembers a dance ministration of me back from University days anytime she listens to this song ‘Never alone’ by Barlow girls. She said it was pretty touching and kept ringing in her head and added “always remember that you touched someone with that ministration”.

My friend may not know but she was an instrument sent to me this morning. Although i had ministered in dance to others, i needed to be reminded of it. The message felt like a reassurance from God that i am not alone in this. He has said he would not leave me nor forsake me. He said i should trust in Him with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding and He would direct my path. He promised that all who trust in him will not be put to shame. He has armed me with strength and made my way perfect. He has made me as sure footed as the deer enabling me to stand on mountains. Therefore with my complete trust in him no mountain can crush me. All i have to do is commit totally and not sideline Him.

We know these things, but then do we really know?



woke up this morning to see a message sent by my cousin T “Our Grandpa don die eeee oooo, Died dis morning @ 1 am”

instantly all drowsiness was drained, in its place a wave of heat. hormones both known and unknown took over my emotions, i couldn’t believe it, i spoke with him last week! He was fine, in perfect condition! asked my cousin if he had a heart attack but she said he was perfectly alright until around 12 am when he had a brief illness then died peacefully at 1 am.

Everyone around me says i should be grateful, celebrate his life ‘cos he went at the ripe age of about 85, yea i know i should and i am grateful to God for the life he lived but still, that does not prevent the shock, sadness and… i don’t know. My maternal grandpa died while i was a toddler so i never knew him, my paternal grandma died some years ago in London, met her only twice so i was never close to her.

But my paternal grandpa, spent the first 9 years of my life growing up around him. he lived upstairs the family house while my nuclear family stayed down stairs. I Remember him telling me to stop running and stamping my feet on the stairs and corridor, i remember he had a favorite spot close to the window in the sitting room upstairs so he could see those going in and out of the compound, i remember is big old ‘grandpa clock’.i remember thinking to myself “grandpa has such weird head, shiny until half way where he had little hair” (i later learn that’s because he was bald).

Recently, our relationship had been reduced to a Christmas and new year visit, of which sometimes i feel like cutting the time short ‘cos i know he would fill me up with stories about how our family came to be, history behind the family name and how all Tubi’s are connected. i can almost tell the history as he would. sometimes i loved to hear these stories, sometimes i just wanted to say hi and move on to do more youthful stuff. sigh, i wish i had giving him all my attention. He was always so happy to see me, or hear my voice on the phone. I wish i had called him more often.

Last week my mum called me on the phone that grandpa had asked of me, wanted to know if i had gotten to the UK safely, i was ashamed, 3 weeks of being here and i didn’t call him. called him instantly and he was so glad to hear my voice, prayed for me and gave me advice. He sounded so healthy, no hint of the event that would happen today at 1 am. he sounded like a man that would live another 10 years. He sounded like a person that had lived a full life, and was very satisfied. This goes to say no one knows the next second and whats in it.

we as humans we often take family relationships lightly and we value relationships with outsiders and strangers as supreme. we shower more affection on people who often us them as rags. we get too caught up with our self indulgence that we forget to give and take the little moments that make up our existence. we wanna have fun, we wanna live our own idea of whats important, but family IS important. we spend hours on the phone with outsiders but can’t spend 5 minutes with family. if we don’t value and understand the importance of our earthly family, how can we understand God’s family? how can we understand what is and whats not in God’s kingdom if we fail this earthly test? since i got here i haven’t called my maternal grandma, been caught up with  school, and settling in. God help me.

My condolences to the family of Pa oladipupo Tubi, may God receive him into His rest. Grandpa i love you and will miss you.

i am a geordie now… i think

*Blowing the dust off this blog* wow, its been more than a week I’ve written and it feels like a month already. missed it a lot. what have i been up to? moving out of Africa to become a ‘Geordie’ student 🙂

Lol, don’t be confused, Geordie  is the nickname given to residents of Newcastle. and since I’ll be here for at least a year i think i can refer to myself has a fake Geordie. I say fake ‘cos the Newcastle residents are called Geordie due to the fact that they are known to walk in the coldest temperature with little clothes on their back, but me, coming from the hottest continent in this planet i can like to keep my clothes on my back thank you.

These past few days i have been traveling, moving into school, registering and now I’m officially a masters student of Northumbria university, Newcastle, studying Health Science (management). I didn’t tell a lot of people before leaving, i apologize to you if i didn’t, i had to leave in a rush. so now i wanna talk about my experience so far.

its been five years since i traveled and to my surprise not much has change. still know how to do the seat belts, i still hate food served on the plane and i still love to watch the in-flight movies. To the airlines credit, each passenger is provided with mini monitors and can choose whatever we wanna watch from a wide range of movie selection to tv shows. i temporarily died an went to heaven ‘cos i had the opportunity to choose from thor, source code, pirates of the caribean 4, kung fu panda 2, fast five, something borrowed.chei at the point i was grinning from ear to ear, this was gonna be a wonderful flight i thought. A sucker for romance that i am, i chose something borrowed first, the later saw source code.

we arrived London on time, thank God for journey mercies and favor with the immigrations. since school is in Newcastle, had to take a 3hrs train up north, and as we drew closer, i started to shiver. Since the journey began, i had been indifferent to the whole thing, but nearing my destination, my heart started to pound so loud I’m sure people in the other coaches could hear. I have never been away from home alone all my life. went to a day secondary school, university of Lagos,even during service year i was going from home. so this is a new page in my life. Putting my faith in God, i know i will be alright, I’m not the first person to go abroad for masters.

Finally got to school, and my jaw dropped, it was huge, was really intimidating. i kept asking for direction and its either I’m given a map or I’m taken to the nearest stationed school map.I’m like duh, i can’t read  maps just point me to the direction thank you, but it seems they love reading maps. i didn’t do geography for petes sake! i was a literature student so i cant read maps. thankfully i met a Nigerian staylite student working at the student accommodations so he was very helpful. truth be told, i might sound very odd, but i really thought Nigerians didn’t know about this school ‘cos each time i told someone my school in Nigeria, they have this dumb look, so i was surprised but glad to see the few Nigerians i have met so far. Among the new students, I met a very fun yoruba guy, a very calculative igbo guy, a chickita igbo babe and a calculative igbo chick. I also met a hot Angolan chick and very reserved Kenyan. together we have formed our own version of African union, thanks to the yoruba guy who was so passionate about we Africans bonding. He pointed out the Asians bonding and doing stuffs together, well he was right. one thing about my school, is that it is filled with Asians. At a point i had to pause and check if i had landed in England or Asia, ‘cos they are in your face. they eat, cook, and go out together.

i have made so many Asians friends and as i make friends with them, i loose track of them ‘cos they are so much and my brain finds it had to store and process their names. met one in the kitchen the other day and it took me about five minutes to get his name was Jefferson. there’s another guy from Vietnam, I’m yet to get him name, maybe its fuu, or fur or fff, i have no idea, but i have made it a point of duty to get his name. i met an Indonesian chick by the name nana, very nice girl, plus i can remember her name and recognize her face. so basically the only friends i have now are Asians and Africans. when school starts proper, i will make it  a point of duty to have friends from all races.

Yesterday, the students’ union organized a welcome party  for international students, and it was hilarious. people from all corners of the world on the dance floor, each thinking they dance better than the other. Of cos as a 9ja chick, i thought they were hilarious with their wormy dance, fish dance, break dance (i mean what looked like a break dance), but i applauded them. my yoruba guy friend carried me suddenly and almost dropped me in the center of the dance floor, but sharp babe like me, i fought for my dear life, i wasn’t about to display skills. there was a magician there last night and HE was GOOD! his tricks were flawless, still thinking of how he did them, smooth.

After the party, the yoruba guy suggested we go out for Chinese, he was really enthusiastic about these new Chinese restaurant that is an all-you-can-eat buffet. since he got to Newcastle he had spent so much money on food, so discovering Chinese food, which is the closest to African food was like discovering a gold mine. And ‘cos he is all for African unity and really a very nice dude, wanted to share this gold rush with us. so off we went. the lot of us minus the igbo took about 20 min to get to the resturant and we girls were freezing. i literary jumped in for warmth. while we ate i was told that when chicks here stare at guys intensely, they are telling you they are available.and they can pay any amount to get the guys. i guess gigolo business will pay off ( just saying).

The walk back to school was short but it didn’t stop me from noticing the white chicks in their skinniest clothes. we black chicks were like amazed. with all our kacking up, we were shivering and a white chick is passing by with boob tube and micro mini skirt. I’m like “babe these chicks are cold-blooded and not warm-blooded” my biology teacher must have made a mistake to say we are all warm-blooded!

Today was less eventful. luckily, a redeem church sent a bus over to pick up students, so i joined in, and service was wonderful. most of the church population are students from the two universities in Newcastle so it was fun. later met up with a friend and she took me to an African store, so I’m gonna start cooking. i no fit waste money on junk. i have been converting food expenses to naira and it ain’t funny.

well that’s all i have been up to. my mum has been calling me like so often i have lost count. its difficult for her, we have never been apart for more than 3 weeks (which was NYSC camp). she came with me to Newcastle, went shopping with me and helped me settle in. she left early yesterday and has not stopped calling. we are still adjusting to the separation.

tomorrow is another day. now the real chronicles of da naive is just beginning. i know i will have lots to talk about. right now im tired and hungry. still have alot to write  but that will be for later times.