Disclaimer: I am not a comedian and i have never pretended to be one, so if you read this and think its not funny, please do not crucify me.
We just rounded off prayers at my house and i can’t forget the events that occured. ℓ☺ℓ. Okay i know prayers are supposed to be serious and i do take them seriously but sometimes people in my house just crack me up.
As it is the routine, mumc came into the ‘gehs dormitory’ – that’s what the room is called (not minding that we are all above 20) to round up the troops for prayers, it took us like 5 minutes to gather in the sitting room turn prayer room.
We stood in a circle and i took my position beside mumc ‘cos no one else would due to years of experience that include pinching, hand squeezing and side kicks if she feels you are sleeping or not praying hard enough. It’s not as if i enjoy that position, but the faster we start the prayer the quicker we go to bed.
So with everyone in position, the room is silent. we are making mental notes of who led prayers last. In my mind i calculated the last time i led to be three days ago. Therefore its not my turn tonight. For lack of unwilling volunteers, mumc started the worship.
Seconds after worship began, the oldest geh amongst us started to change posture. You see in our house we have different postures while praying. First is to stand, then kneel to show you are still in the spirit, next sit on the chair and last posture is to sit on the floor. My cousin didn’t bother to go through the stages, she just jumped from number one to four.
The next thing i know, mumc releases me of her iron grip to give my coz a hard kick. That was enough to keep her spirit, soul and body awake.
I was still struggling to keep the laughter inside when i heard muffled sounds like one who is making high pitched low frequency sound in a public toilet from my little cousin. On opening my eyes, i saw tears roll down her cheeks as she prayed vigorously. I’m thinking this geh must be feeling the spirit i felt guilty for not concentrating. But it was not my fault i was fighting my own battles. The mosquitoes chose that moment to feed on me with fork Ąπϑ knife.
Anyway, after prayers, i asked the little geh what the p was, she said nothing. Only to find out that she was removing her hands from d link and touching her body almost every second during prayers from the older coz. That attracted a pinch from my big cousin on her left and a slap from my uncle on her right.
The geh wasn’t in the spirit after all! Just suffering in silence. I sympathised with her ‘cos i was fighting the same demons in d form of mosquitoes too.